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I Am Not Me

by Chris Ballew

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1.
I AM NOT ME pure sweet music from my soul all I am is bought and sold no one receiving this satellite no one calling me but I'm alright I am not me collect all the molecules and what have you got carbon garbage and that's not a lot I wore out two thousand shoes I tore out the me and you I am not me I got a million nerves open and on I got a billion words all of them wrong open up the now is a yes or no yes is a test will I stay or go I am not me all my egos scream my name I can see them clearly in the flames my consciousness will explode death is perfectly safe so let's go home I am not me
2.
Frozen Fog 03:35
FROZEN FOG
 I feel a frozen fog coming on coming on don't wanna move my fingers don't wanna move my toes don't wanna my get my get up to get up and go I am melting into the couch today got no other plans and that's OK happy sinking deeply into a single spot these pillows and this lazy day is all that I have got don't be alarmed if I choose not to respond since I threw the off switch I don't want to turn on I feel a frozen fog coming on coming on don't wanna move my body don't wanna move my mind if I stay here long enough the day will turn to night my nervous system loves to untwist me and this couch love to coexist light behind my eyelids takes me for a ride we could play hide and seek but all I'd do is hide don't be alarmed if I choose not to respond since I threw the off switch I don't want to turn on
3.
Mother Mine 04:31
MOTHER MINE tight as a drum heavy and numb nine moons alive mother mine I feel the bass i feel your face I hear you cry mother mine the light is red my heavy head is feeling fine mother mine a waiting game it's all the same out or inside mother mine this energy is you and me forever tied mother mine here comes the noise the pain and joy a blinding light mother mine my mother mine I see you shine I see you shine mother mine
4.
SUBMICROSCOPIC I'm getting smaller I'm getting thinner I'm going to see you inside in the inner my mind is melting disintegrating my arms are leaving my head is aching a quantum bender feels intersteller a neutron number is how I call her hello I'm falling that's why I'm calling can you please grab me before I'm totally gone ` submicroscopic I'm tipping under I'm loosing balance erased all of my memory palace I'm sliding sideways into a new space my heart is fading nothing in it's place particle blankets I'm cozy under chemical darkness is where I slumber hello I'm falling that's why I'm calling can you please grab me before I'm totally gone ` submicroscopic
5.
6.
Evolution 03:36
EVOLUTION tiny zygote in the sea is feeling so damn alone make another one when it divides so on so on so primordial soup is teaming with a variety everey step toward a version of future you and me it's evolution it's odd how no one remembers distant history from nothing in a carbon stew just add electricity why struggle all that time just to walk upright deep in a hole of darkness struggling toward the light it's evolution round and round round and round
7.
TEENY TINY FLOWER it's a miracle that you are here it's a wonder that you survive no sense of purpose no sense of fear you could have would have and should have died I got a teeny tiny flower blossoming in my heart I got a teeny tiny flower blossoming in my mind you got a teeny tiny flower too that's the sweetest part there is a teeny tiny flower blossoming all the time a million years of colorless hills a million years to activate something from nothing is such a thrill life loves to regenerate I got a teeny tiny flower blossoming in my heart I got a teeny tiny flower blossoming in my mind you got a teeny tiny flower too that's the sweetest part there is a teeny tiny flower blossoming all the time your existence says it all no need for a flowery speech someday everyone will hear your call a little teacher who loves to teach I got a teeny tiny flower blossoming in my heart I got a teeny tiny flower blossoming in my mind you got a teeny tiny flower too that's the sweetest part there is a teeny tiny flower blossoming all the time
8.
SONIC ECLIPSE
 when the backround noise annoys distant distortion to avoid there are places in the brain that you can save from scary trips sonic eclipse when you pile on the sound compress the best into the ground what your doing is unmuting all the channels 'till it fits sonic eclipse I miss you now like before I heard your shape walk out the door there are similarities between the pulse of waiting lips sonic eclipse and when your ears ring out in pain and cooking bacon sounds like rain mirages are mirages when you're loosing your grip sonic eclipse sonic eclipse
9.
Two Lonely 04:30
TWO LONELY PEOPLE two lonely people loving shoving two lonely people killing time two lonely people missing kissing two lonely people filling time I got nothin' but the feeling that I am see through I got nothin' but the reflection coming off of you I got everything compressed into a diamond shape I got nothing not even my light can escape two lonely people loving shoving two lonely people killing time two lonely people missing kissing I am a person filling time I got nothin' but the feeling that I am see through I got nothin' but the reflection coming off of you I got everything compressed into a diamond shape I got nothing not even my light can escape not even my light can escape
10.
Radar Mind 04:06
RADAR MIND the signal I'm receiving is weak but that's deceiving a flicker from the galaxy a message in harmonics a sense beyond the sonic I catch and hold it happily lightning in the distance shouting with insistance all I have to do is receive I play with the reception allowing the perception that what I made came form me I'm open wide with my radar mind the serpent's out of my life the smoke is out of my eyes I see the tiny lights float by the air feels more like jello full of little cellos panning let to right and side to side I see my ego army they think it is alarming that I should know what to do and all my little helpers run for shady shelter when a message in the void shines through
11.
Ultraviolet 03:34
ULTRAVIOLET

when light goes out and clouds cover up your face you can travel outward to a brand new outer space eyeballs are thirsty for a spectrum full of light like ultraviolet still and silent wide and vibrant ultraviolet a jealous rainbow watches night time take control an insect finds delicious nectar in the folds my brain hungers for a side show full of light like ultraviolet still and silent wide and vibrant ultraviolet the birds feel sorry for our human limitations I squint my mind and wonder about the radiations nocturnal animals tell stories full of light like ultraviolet still and silent wide and vibrant ultraviolet
12.
FLY DEEP INSIDE I don't want to take you where you dont want to go but I have a ticket for the most amazing show it starts right now inside of every living thing please take your seat and spread your little wings and fly deep inside I don't want to show you what you don't want to know but I found a way to sneak into the most incredible show it starts right now inside of you and you and me please take your seat and spread your little wing and fly deep inside

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released July 23, 2021

Written, recorded, performed and produced by Chris Ballew
Co-produced by Pete Droge and Mark Heberlein

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Chris Ballew Seattle, Washington

Chris Ballew is the songwriter and lead singer of the Seattle rock 'n' roll band The Presidents of the United States of America. For 10 years Chris made music for 0 to 5-year-olds and their parents as Caspar Babypants. Now chris makes fuzzy psychedelic meditative fun loopy music for grown-up brains to chill out and do tiny dances and take naps to. ... more

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